Amnesia
by crimsontigerlily311
Summary: When Tatsumi loses his memory, it is up to Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and Watari to try to bring him back.
1. Chapter 1

**Amnesia**

"I don't remember." Tatsumi huffed angrily.

"How can you not remember?!" Tsuzuki exclaimed. "You were the one who assigned us to this case! Now what did you find out about Muraki?"

"What's a Muraki? Is that the new car that's out?"

"CAR????"

Tatsumi pushed up his glasses. "If you're just going to repeat the things I say, Tsuzuki, then I guess I'll get back to work."

"Tatsumi, aren't you supposed to be smart?" Tsuzuki sighed.

"I wasn't born smart, nor was I…..I don't remember."

Tsuzuki was about to say more when an idea came into his head. If Tatsumi was losing pieces of his memory, then maybe he could try to squeeze some money out of him to go buy more sweets.

"Say, Tatsumi, do you remember that money you owe me?" Tsuzuki asked sweetly.

"No."

"Well, you've owed me that for a few weeks now."

"Tsuzuki. I don't remember owing you money because I would never borrow money from you of all people!!! Now get back to work!!"

"Yes, sir!!" Tsuzuki ran off.

_This is bad,_ he thought to himself. _What will happen if Tatsumi never gets his memory back?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Mystery**

"Watari," Tsuzuki whined. "I'm serious. What happened to Tatsumi?"

Watari coughed.

"How would I know, Tsuzuki? I haven't done anything to him….lately."

"What was the last thing you did to him?"

"Well, I shot him with my squirt gun so many times that he may still be experiencing some side effects from that."

"SIDE EFFECTS?!"

"Why do you seem surprised? You remember what happened to you don't you?"

Tsuzuki shuddered. "How could I forget?"

"Good." Watari said, pulling out a squirt gun from his lab coat pocket, "Then I won't have to demonstrate?"

"NO! NO! NO!"

Watari smirked.

"But, seriously, Watari, how are we going to get Tatsumi's memory back?"

"Well, think about it, Tsuzuki. Do we really WANT Tatsumi to have his memory back? Just think about all of the things he's done to you: stealing your sweets, not letting you have any bonuses….Do you really want him to remember all of THAT?"

"Well…no…." Tsuzuki sighed. "But what if his memory comes back on its own….gasp We'll be dead!!!"

"Tsuzuki, we're already dead."

"Oh, yeah!"

"We're going to have to help him somehow, though…" Watari mused.

"We do?"

"Well, if his memory does come back on its own, then we could say that we were doing everything we could to help him. And that way, he won't be angry!"

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"If this is a permanent process, and he loses bits of his memory everyday, he soon won't be able to remember anything."

"Oh, no!"

"Not necessarily. If he can't remember anything, then we could train him to become a kinder person. Perhaps we could even stop him from being such a tightwad. Think about it. Wouldn't you like to be around a nicer Tatsumi and not having to worry about him attacking you when you make him angry?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"What? Would you rather have him be the cranky bastard that he is now?"

"No, but it just seems wrong to me."

"The end justifies the means, my dear friend. Think about it and you'll see."

**A/N: I don't really know where I am going with this. Obviously, the chapters aren't very long. I just got bored in my study hall and I needed something to do. So, yay, my first multi-chaptered fanfic! Anyway, R&R! It just takes two seconds! Please? Please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tatsumi Worked at Burger King**

"Tatsumi, do you remember anything?" Hisoka asked.

"Nothing really clear." Tatsumi muttered.

"Really, Tatsumi?" Watari grinned. "Not even the time when you worked at Burger King?"

"I worked at Burger King?"

"When did this happen?" Hisoka whispered to Tsuzuki.

"It didn't, as far as I know."

"Oh, yeah," Watari went on, ignoring the whispers. "You were telling us not too long ago that you were always put on drive through."

"What?"

"Yeah. You were telling us about that lady you had one time."

"Lady?"

"Yeah," Watari chuckled. "You remember how you couldn't understand anything she was saying? All you could hear was 'some pickles, no no no cheese, uh extra cheese, pickles, bun seeds, no bun seeds, no no no no yes no cheese, extra pickles, how much, eh cheese, pickle, extra pickles, cheese, bun seeds, and pickles on all my pickles, and some extra pickly pickles, cheese, pickles, chicken tenders…. Sweet and sour sauce on my pussy…."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, I can't believe you don't remember that!"

"Isn't that a Dane Cook quote?" Hisoka muttered.

"Hisoka, how do you know about Dane Cook?" Tsuzuki asked. "Aren't you a little young for that?"

"Tsuzuki, in case you haven't noticed, if I were alive, I would be twenty seven by now."

"Oh, yeah!"

"You're an old man, Tsuzuki."

"Old? Who're you callin' old?"

"Tsuzuki, you're over a hundred."

Tatsumi pushed up his glasses. "I can't believe I wouldn't remember something as traumatizing as that. I'm glad I don't recall any of the details, though."

Watari burst out laughing as Tatsumi walked out of the door.

"Watari," Hisoka asked, "What are you up to this time?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." Watari chuckled. "This is going to be such fun!"

**A/N: If you haven't heard that Dane Cook segment, go onto youtube and look up Dane Cook Burger King. Anyway, R&R! Hugs and cookies to everyone! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Continuous**

"This isn't going to get better." Watari stated, scratching his head. He had just completed another exam on Tatsumi and discovered that his memory was starting to deteriorate with an increasing speed. "I don't know what happened but, there is nothing we can do."

"What's going to happen if he loses every piece of his memory?" Hisoka asked.

"I can't answer that." Watari sighed. "And to tell the truth, I'm starting to get bored with teasing him like I have been. And I'm starting to run out of jokes. He was more fun to tease when he was a cranky tightwad of a dark lord. At least he was able to follow what I was saying."

"Uh, Watari, I don't think that's the most important thing right now." Hisoka stated.

"Of course it is!" Watari huffed, then pointed at Hisoka and Tsuzuki. "And both of you know what happens when I get bored!"

Tsuzuki shuddered at his memories and Hisoka blinked.

"B-but, Watari," Tsuzuki stuttered. "You said that we could make Tatsumi nicer and then he wouldn't take all my sweets and that he would give me bonuses."

"Well, apparently that's not working since he's already forgotten what we've said to him! I'm guessing that it won't be long before he begins to forget who we are…"

"What do you mean?" Tsuzuki asked.

"Well, he's beginning to forget his past. His oldest memories are already forgotten. How long do you think it'll be before he starts to forget us, since we've only known him for a few decades? It won't be long. He'll forget you first, Tsuzuki. You've known him the longest."

When Tsuzuki started to cry, Hisoka asked, "What do you think we should do?"

"Well, I've been doing some research," Watari said, with a glint in his eyes. "And I've read that a strong shock, hypnosis, or psychotherapy can help a person regain their memory."

"What do you mean by a strong shock?" Tsuzuki asked, wiping his face.

"Well, there can be a trauma to the head, they can see, hear, or smell something that can trigger a forgotten memory…"

"Trauma to the head?"

"You know, knock him around a little….maybe with a baseball bat. Or, maybe I could try to create a potion that restores memory…."

"No." Hisoka said bluntly.

"Or maybe I can give him one of my older creations. I'm sure those memories are rooted in his brain somewhere…"

"No."

"Then perhaps a shotgun will do the trick…"

"NO!!!" Hisoka and Tsuzuki screamed together.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help. I don't see you two coming up with any damn ideas. However, we do need to come up with a plan."

**A/N: Are there any suggestions as to what Watari, Tsuzuki, and Hisoka will do to Tatsumi? I've got a few ideas but, I don't want this story to go on for too long. Until next time, read and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Picture**

"Do you recognize anyone in this picture?" Watari asked, shoving the photo at Tatsumi.

Tatsumi stared at it for several minutes, not saying a word. Finally, he sat back and rubbed his eyes, "No, I don't know any of those people."

"Not even the person on the right?"

"No."

"Well, that's you, Tatsumi."

The picture was one Watari had taken four months before. In it, it showed Tatsumi holding a slice of apple pie high above his head and Tsuzuki straining to get it back. Hisoka had been caught in between them and was getting squished.

"…Are you sure?"

"Tatsumi, I've known you for…a while now." Watari said, embarrassed that he was getting so old. "I'm pretty sure I know what you look like."

"That's odd…..I don't remember much about you….Just that you're almost always getting in trouble with….someone."

"With you, Tatsumi. I'm almost always getting in trouble with you."

"With me? Why? What sort of things do you do?"

"Uh….Maybe it's a good thing that you have forgotten that…" Watari trailed off.

"What did you do?" Tatsumi said, sounding more like his old self.

"Uh…uh…Oh, look! Here comes Tsuzuki! You remember Tsuzuki, don't you?" Watari flailed about frantically.

"Huh?" Tsuzuki said.

"Tatsumi forgot about you, Tsuzuki." Watari said, nodding his head sympathetically.

"What?" Tears began to well up in Tsuzuki's eyes.

"He forgot about most of the things I've done too, so he's almost forgotten me completely. His memory is going faster than I had originally thought. I don't know how to solve this. I may have to come up with a potion after all…."

"Are you sure it would be the only way?"

"Positive. I've never heard of a case of Amnesia with these kinds of symptoms. It may take me a while to determine the ingredients I will need, the proper dosage, etc, etc…"

"How long?"

"Trial and error, Tsuzuki. It could be in a few days or it could be in a few months….We'll just have to wait and see and trust Tatsumi's strength to help get his memory back….Although, it is kind of convenient that he forgot about the aftermath of all my sob failed experiments…."

"Watari…."

"I know, I know. Just give me some time. I'll think of something."


	6. Chapter 6

**Trial and Error**

"Hiya, Tatsumi!!" Watari called cheerily as he walked into the hospital room where Tatsumi had been staying. "How are you feeling today?"

"Do I know you?" Tatsumi responded in a clipped tone.

"Yes, Tatsumi, I'm your doctor." Watari lied quickly.

"….Why do I need a doctor?"

"Precisely! You are obviously having some memory loss. The studies we have conducted have shown that right now, your memory only lasts about one day. Yesterday, it was two; the day before was five days; and a few weeks ago you were able to remember months past. The question is: why is your memory deteriorating so rapidly? Right now the best thing we can do for you is to try various methods to help you to get it back."

"Why would I be forgetting things in the first place?"

"Well, that's an easy question to answer. You obviously tried some of Tsuzuki's cooking. Everyone knows that's not a great experience for anybody."

"Who is this Tsuzuki? Doesn't that company make motorcycles?"

"Now how could you remember that, but you can't remember people?"

"I don't know. I remember a lot of things like that."

"Give me an example."

"I remember that new Sobe "Thriller" commercial."

"Interesting. Well, now we know that you are just forgetting people, not your actual memories… I wouldn't say that's good news but, it's a start…. Now,"

"Excuse me, but, who are you?"

"What do you mean 'who are you'? You've been talking to me for the past ten minutes."

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember."

"You've got to be kidding me."

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, but I was really sick this past week and I couldn't really concentrate. I promise the next chapter will be better. Until then, R&R!! **


	7. Chapter 7

Experiment 1

**Experiment 1**

"Tsuzuki, I need your help." Watari said ominously, walking into the break room.

"What?" Tsuzuki said around a mouthful of doughnut.

"I want to try something with Tatsumi. He doesn't remember people anymore. He can remember inconsequential things like commercials but…. Anyway, I need you to pretend to be his mother."

Tsuzuki choked.

"What?! Why?"

"I just want to see if there is any recognition of his past. I'll be hiding somewhere, taking notes, of course. Then, perhaps, I can try to create something that will get his memory back."

"I don't wanna! Why don't you do it?"

"How can I take notes while acting? And I've been doing everything so far, so you need to help too! You say you care but, you don't really give a shit about what happens to Tatsumi do you? I always thought you were a great friend Tsuzuki. I thought you would be willing to do something to help save our good friend but, I've been wrong before—"

Tsuzuki interrupted Watari's dramatic ranting. "Okay, okay, I'll do it, Watari."

"Good. Now come with me."

"Why?" Tsuzuki asked warily.

"In order to act, one needs to get into character, naturally."

"Character?"

Tsuzuki officially despised Watari at that moment. He was sitting in the hospital wing of the Judgment Bureau waiting to see Tatsumi. He was wearing a dark red blouse paired with an asymmetrical black skirt. He was also wearing black Italian pumps. However, Watari was a suspiciously good make-up artist. Tsuzuki's eyeliner framed his eyes perfectly and he was also wearing sparkly green eye shadow and blue mascara. His hair had also been dyed red with streaks of gray. A fake bun had also been placed on the back of his head.

"All right, ma'am. You can go see him now." Watari said, chucking to himself.

"I may kill you for this, Watari."

"You can try." Watari walked off, laughing.

Tsuzuki sighed and rubbed his temples. He slowly got up and walked into the room where they were keeping Tatsumi.

_This had better work_, Tsuzuki thought.

"Who're you?" Tatsumi asked from the hospital bed.

"Oh, honey, you don't remember?" Tsuzuki asked in his best girly voice.

"No."

"That hurts my heart, son. I'm your mother, of course!"

"My mother?"

"Yes! How could you forget me?" He started to fake cry.

"I-I am sorry. I don't really remember anyone right now."

"What is the last thing you can remember?"

"…seeing you walk into the room…"

"That's horrible! I wonder what happened to you."

"I wish I knew that myself, ma'am."

Tsuzuki ran his hand through his hair. Things were getting worse.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Tatsumi asked, "who are you?"

Really, really bad.

"Never mind, son. Don't worry about me and get some rest." Tsuzuki turned on his heel and walked out the door, bumping into Watari on the way.

"I told you it was bad." Watari said sullenly.

"Yeah…." Tsuzuki trailed off, pulling off his wig. "What can we do?"

"I don't know anymore."


	8. Chapter 8

Return

**Return**

"Are we going to try anything new today, Watari?" Tsuzuki asked, walking down the hall of the infirmary.

"I don't know what else to do. I guess we'll just have to be there as his friends."

"Since when do you guess?" Hisoka asked.

"Alright, I **know** we'll just have to be there for him."

Hisoka, Tsuzuki and Watari walked into Tatsumi's hospital room silently. Tsuzuki and Watari relaxed when they saw that Tatsumi was asleep. Hisoka sat down in a plastic arm chair and pulled out the latest volume of Harry Potter.

Watari saw what Hisoka was reading and asked Tsuzuki, "Hey, do you think the new Harry Potter movie is going to make more money than the Twilight movie that's coming out? They're both premiering around the same time."

"Oh, Twilight will kick Harry Potter's ass." Tsuzuki said confidently.

"I don't know," Hisoka said, looking up from his book. "They've got brooms."

"Oh, yeah?! All you have to do is take that stick out of their hands—"

"It's called a wand, Tsuzuki."

"Whatever! All you have to do is take it out of their hands and they're helpless! Vampires are cool. They have superhuman powers! They don't need a stick."

"Who knows?" Hisoka said, shrugging, "Maybe the Twilight movie will suck and it won't even matter."

"It's based on the book! How could it suck?"

"Look what they did to Eragon!"

"Damn." Tsuzuki was momentarily stuck.

"See?" Hisoka went back to reading.

"Would you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep." The voice came from the hospital bed.

"See Tsuzuki? You woke him up." Watari laughed.

"However, since it's Tsuzuki, I'm not surprised," Tatsumi continued. "He's always so noisy."

"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki exclaimed. "You remember me!"

"Unfortunately. Now shut up! I have a headache and you're not helping!!"

"I'm sor—"

"GET OUT! All of you! NOW!"

Watari and Tsuzuki ran out of the hospital room in fear while Hisoka silently walked out behind them. Once they were into the hallway, Tsuzuki ran into Konoe.

"I'm sorry, chief." Tsuzuki bowed. "Tatsumi's back to his old scary self."

"Yes, I know. I'm the one who helped him."

"You?" Watari asked. "What did you do that I didn't?!"

"Oh, nothing," Konoe said, hiding a crowbar behind his back. "Just some normal hypnosis."

"Hypnosis? That never works."

"Apparently it does."

"You shouldn't lie, Konoe." Hisoka said as Watari stormed off.

"Who needs to know?" Konoe replied, laughing.

**A/N: Okay! The end! Sorry that it took so long for updates. I got sidetracked. Anyway, please review!**


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